Every wedding invitation should provide guests with all the important details, like the date, the time, the address, and more importantly, what kind of cake are they going to serve at the reception. Nowadays all these Pinterest brides and grooms think it’s cute to ditch cake and serve lavender bread pudding in a mason jar. It’s not cute. It’s wrong. If you ain’t going to have cake, you ain’t going to see me. I am not going to suffocate in the too-small ASOS suit I wear to every wedding in order to not eat cake (I’m talking to your hateful ass, Natalie Portman. ) So I appreciate that Kensington Palace delivered an important royal wedding update on the only thing that matters: THE CAKE!

Surprisingly, Prince Hot Ginge and Meghan Markle aren’t going to serve their guests sheet cake from Costco at their wedding on May 19. They have chosen California-born pastry chef Claire Ptak , who owns Violet Cakes in London. Meghan once interviewed Claire for her now-dead lifestyle site The Ti g.

For their wedding cake Prince Harry and Ms. Meghan Markle have chosen pastry chef Claire Ptak, owner of the London-based bakery @violetcakes . pic.twitter.com/Rx36WBt7kC

— Kensington Palace (@KensingtonRoyal) March 20, 2018

Claire will make them “ a lemon elderflower cake that will incorporate the bright flavors of spring. It will be covered with buttercream and decorated with fresh flowers. ” Hmm, it may have been more fitting for Claire to make a wedding cake using the meat of the hearts that were torn out when PHG announced his engagement to HER!

PHG and Meghan Markle’s unofficial wedding theme seems to be “ breaking tradition, ” so they’re breaking tradition by serving a cake flavor that sounds like a body wash scent.

Traditionally, royal wedding cakes have been fruitcake. Fruitcake was served at the weddings of THE QUEEN and Prince Philip, Prince Charles and Princess Diana, and Prince William and Duchess Kate (although, they had a chocolate biscuit groom’s cake too). I have found my in! On May 19, I will knock on the backdoor of the reception and say, “Prince Hot Ginge and Duchess Meghan have changed their minds and have decided to serve delicious fruitcake instead. And here I am! ” And then the servants will toss me into the dumpster after declaring that the fruitcake has gone rotten.